More tax on wine

Surprise, surprise: yet another above-inflation tax rise for wine. We won't go on, just to inform you that the Treasury has whacked another 4 pence on a bottle of wine, and 5 pence on the fizzy stuff. As Jeremy Beadles (no relation, we're assured), chief executive of the Wine and Spirits Trade Association said: "At a time when the Government is offering other industries a helping hand it is extraordinary that it wishes to hurt the drinks industry with further tax increases". Quite so Jeremy, quite so. To which we might add: what with having run the pound into the ground against the Euro (hiking up the price of European wine by a good 25%), increasing the government's own 'wining-and-dining' budget from £550 to £800k per annum, they really are taking the p... But we did promise not to go on.

What's in a wine club?

Not alot, according to the Guardian's consumer affairs correspondant Miles Brignall. Just a classic case of sour grapes? identifies three main problems with the endless wine club offers that have moved on from sunday supplements to bank statements and tea-time TV: (i) the 'to good to be true' introductory offers, (ii) the 'book club' style automated repeat purchase and (iii) the domination of the wine club market by Laithwaites/Direct wines, which shifts a staggering 4.5 million cases to some 800,000 customers across its numerous brand tie-ins every year.

Since we're about to relaunch our own wine-club, we have more than a passing interest in this subject. But while it seems fair to question the current status quo, Brignall's article skirted the most important question: just how good is the wine? Taking his concerns in turn it seems a little harsh to question the need for a 'sexy' introductory offer - everyone from Love Film to Fitness First starts uses free tasters as to lure in new customers. As to 'membership', the most important question is how easy is it to (in this case) skip, cancel or return cases? Again, while Laithwaites may be guilty of reducing its font size when it comes to the Ts & Cs, this is (right or wrong) standard commercial practice; there is nothing in the article to suggest that Laithwaites locks people into financial liability for wine they don't want. Its almost certainly easier to cancel a Laithwaites membership than a contract with a mobile phone or broadband supplier, for example.

But here's where the water gets a little muddy: Laithwaites and Direct Wines are behind, among others, Virgin Wines, The Sunday Times Wine Club, the Richard & Judy Wine Club, Bordeaux Direct, NatWest Wine Club, Barclaycard Wine Service, British Airways Executive Wine Club and Warehouse Wines. So what's the problem? As anyone with a simple grasp of neo-classical economics will tell you: market share means economies of scale which means savings for the consumer, right? Not necessarily, this model may work for toothpaste, washing powder and other factory produced goods, but when you apply it to wine it means just that: mass produced, factory-made, 'bulk wine'. Think about it, how else can you fill 800,000 cases (that's 10 million bottles by the way) when you're selling most of it at £4-£5 per bottle?

Sour grapes on our part we hear you say. Not a bit of it: we'll be back shortly with the relaunch of our own wine clubs (like Laithwaites we'll be tying these in with corporate partners) and will take the 'pepsi challenge' with any of the cases sent out under the brands named above, or your money back. Watch this space.

Rosé wine hits retail price index, EU upsets producers

For some reason the newspapers took great delight in the ascendancy of rosé wine to the "nation's shopping basket" - "people are turning to pink wine, hot cooked chicken and parmesan as boxes of wine and tinned cat food fall out of favour", reported the Times in fairly typical fashion. I guess its just easier for journalists to write about the shopping habits of those with 2.4 children than address what's actually happening to the retail price index and the implications for our economy. We're not even going to pretend we understand, content to simply jump on the bandwagon with this genuinely fantastic rosé offer - £3 off the stunning Arbaude of Provence.

Those with a taste for the pink stuff may also be interested in EU proposals that would allow wine producers to mix red with a splash of white, and bottle the result as rosé - heresy as far as France is concerned (particularly in Provence, the spiritual home of rosé itself), and more fun for newspaper headline writers (e.g. "French rose producers pink-faced over EU wine plans").

To placate the French, the European Commission is proposing that its rosé wine would be specially designated and labelled as "traditional rosé", with "rosé" itself up for grabs by anyone who wants to make a pink wine drink. Given the questionable heritage of much of the rosé in the UK, it probably won't make much difference to the "average consumer", but then nor apparently does the taste. Learn more about traditional Provence rosé here.

Wine is bad for you, but not as bad as Facebook

In a week when the Daily Mail carried the story that “Facebook causes cancer”, we should probably take claims that "a glass of wine each evening is enough to increase your risk of developing cancer" with a pinch of salt. Especially as you might also have read this week that a "glass of wine 'could prevent gullet cancer'", "a couple of glasses of beer or wine every day is good for your bones" and that "white wines improve the digestion of low fat food and help prevent cardiovascular diseases".

Mixed messages indeed. I'm not a real doctor but i recommend giving up the newspapers. That, or taking one cancer-beating glass of wine with every cancer-causing one. Sadly the contagion's even spread to France, where the current official "drink with moderation" is to be replaced with cigarette style warnings that "the consumption of alcohol is detrimental to your health". In case you're wondering, the idea has been around in the UK since at least 2006. Perhaps we should start preparing for pictures of pickled livers on our pinot?

Minimum price per unit for alcohol to stop alcoholism

As the war on drinking looks to upstage even the failures of the wars on drugs and terrorism, the Scottish government has has proposed a range of measures including the "radical" step of a minimum price per unit. It would be the first country in Europe to take the step. Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon said: "Plummeting prices and aggressive promotion have led to a surge in consumption, causing and adding to health problems ranging from liver and heart diseases to diabetes, obesity, dementia and cancers". It's not at all clear whether she's talking about the government or the alcohol. Let's just make everyone pay more for everything, and then everything will be better.

Not the art of wine by Damien Hirst

Having lavished praise on the art and wine of Sandro Chia, we couldn't let this pass without comment. Damien Hirst, the billionaire bad boy of British art, has "designed" the label for the new Comic Relief wine. Ignored by the mainstream press, you can read more about this exciting story at packagingnews.co.uk.

Sadly, we think you'll agree that it looks alot to us like Damien couldn't be arsed and the Comic Relief teaboy did it/they used a sketch from the design brief instead. Don't get us wrong, doubtless its a great wine (it was chosen by two MWs), and certainly a great cause.

Regardless, we're sufficiently appalled that if any readers of this blog decide to buy Sandro Chia's wine instead, we'll match the quid a bottle that goes to Comic Relief - just mention this blog when completing the checkout and we'll make a donation on your behalf.